I had been having some trouble with excess bleeding during menstral cycles and horrible bloating and mood swings. I went to the primary doctor only to have her put me on Lexapro. In taking that I don’t believe it helped my mood and but it seemed to disturb my vision. Making it pretty blurry on occasion. I tried the medication for a month. Symptoms got worse. I decided to go to a different doctor after I was having my menstral and could not use a tampon. Then things happened pretty fast in my eyes being that I don’t remember every detail.

I ended up with an ob/gyn appointment to get a “consultation” The pain that I was in that day was horrific and the original doc that I was to see was in surgery and I finally was accepted by another doc to be seen. Dr. Faye was wonderful. She immediately got me in to see a gyn oncologist which I cannot remember is name but he did check me and immediately did the most painful thing I had done ever in my life. He took this HUGE need for a biopsy and shoved into the lining of the vaginal wall and pulled what he called a plug out. He even said it was cancer before it was sent off to the lab for pathology. While he was taking the plug the radiation oncologist came in. Everyone had their hands in my who-ha examining me and I had never felt so violated in my life. The nurse holding my hand during the biopsy was nice but I am sure everyone could hear me screaming during the procedure all over that wing of the clinic. Rick was so taken aback by how things transpired. No sedation numbing meds or anything was used. After that I could not wait to get out of there. I couldn’t walk fast enough.

We left the building and just drove. I think we ended up in a park close by the clinic. Just sitting there in disbelief of what just happened to me and trying to wrap our heads around me having cancer. So the hurry up and wait scenarios began. The plug was sent off to pathology. We had to wait 5 days and then there was a slew of appointments. Oncology, Dr. Gross- Perdekamp, Made arrangements to get involved with radiation with Dr. Sapiente being in charge, Chemo Therapy-cisplatin, once a week but high dosage. I had a PET scan which gave me a massive migraine headache and vomiting. Then MRI to set up radiation markers and molds for my legs that would help me be still during treatments. The first treatment I was terrified, no one told me what to expect. Was it going to hurt? I had no idea. Rick was there but couldn’t go back to the radiation area with me. Then the first Tuesday I had chemo Rick laid in my bed beside me. The nurse brought me a fleece blanket that I could keep. The womens league made them for the cancer patients. I don’t think at that point I had even remotely began to accept that I had cancer. I was mentally shut down. I couldn’t think I couldn’t make decisions. Rick wanted me to advocate for myself but I couldn’t function. I was depressed, couldn’t sleep, in pain. I ended up with so many medications, who even needed to eat breakfast. I had a power port put in my chest to where they nurse didn’t have to stick me every time I needed fluids or my treatment. My kidney was damaged so I had to have a stent put in my left ureter to release fluids but the tumor was so big that the kidney was already damaged. Like I said I know there is things that I may miss in all this but I am trying.

Well, I am going to go to bed and possibly pick this up tomorrow.